Let them go people… let them go.
Inner peace… it sounds like some elusive ‘thing’ reserved for monks chanting on Himalayan mountains doesn’t it? Not something that you and me can enjoy?
But the thing is, we totally can! It just takes a little practice and a mindset shift or two.
Here’s the main issue… here in the Western world we are bought up to ‘want’. We’re literally taught that to be happy we need to ‘have’ stuff. Lots of stuff! New cars, trendy trainers, a big tv, the latest handbag, weekly manicures, a designer dog!
As a result of this many of us are looking to outside factors and our surroundings in an attempt to find happiness and inner peace.
But here’s the thing. That’s never going to happen.
It can’t, because there will always be a new ‘thing’ just around the corner and whilst you need that thing to be happy you’ll never actually find true peace.
Or, as I like to say… You can’t home renovate yourself to happiness
Urgh, that sounds depressing doesn’t it? Don’t worry, it gets more positive, keep reading!
First up, the MOST important info… Inner peace can ONLY come within. It stems from our deeply rooted beliefs about ourselves and the way we react to different situations. And that’s where the challenge lies. I’m willing to bet there are many beliefs that you hold subconsciously that sink your sense of self-confidence and overall happiness.
But here’s the good news, by recognizing and analyzing the thoughts and beliefs that occur in your mind each day, you can gently shift your thinking to a more positive and confident outlook, creating a life full of peace, calmness and happiness. Hurray!
So… do any of these sound familiar?
Limiting Belief One: “Once I get what I want I will feel better”
We’ve all been there right? Once I have that job, everything will change, once I have 2,000 followers on Instagram I’ll be successful, once I have that new car people will respect me.
This belief is by far the most common way that we get wrapped up in the mindset of ‘having’ and allow it to guide us and determine our wellbeing. It’s also the toughest one to let go.
Because… y’know… handbags!
How do I know? Well because even I occasionally still do it! Here’s a recent example… If I have the perfect set of singing bowls then my yoga classes will be better and I’ll make loads of videos for social media. Or another… If I buy another online training course or learn another way to teach yoga then I will be more successful because I’ll know more. Of course I know what I’m actually doing is procrastinating and inventing excuses not to do something that I’m afraid of; in this case getting in front of a camera.
The real fact is that neither of those things is going to make a real difference. Neither is that car, or that handbag. Gutting. But true.
When we understand that feeling good and being happy comes from within, you can start to release these restricting views. It takes time and there will be stumbles along the way, but you can get there.
In order to truly practice gratitude and be present in the moment, we have to allow our inner peace to guide us regardless of our situations or aspirations.
Or in other words, whilst it is important to have desires and goals, it is important to not let those goals determine our quality of life and satisfaction on the inside.
You are enough, just as you are.
Limiting Belief Two: “People are always out to get me”
Are they though? Although we do not usually say this out loud, our subconscious holds restricting beliefs like these keep us trapped in a victim mentality and prevent us from achieving our goals and aspirations.
When you are constantly focused on what others think of you and how they will react, the resulting anxiety guides your life and you will not feel at peace on the inside.
Rather than expecting that people are going against you, accept the fact that not everyone will like you… but some people will and it’s those people who matter. Let go of seeking approval from others, why do you need it? What happens if you don’t have it? Probably not much!
Allowing others to have their own opinions and not being afraid of them or letting them get in the way of your own views can allow you to get a lot further in your life than you would expect. And if someone truly is out to get you, it says more about them than it does you… Jealousy, resentment, and a persons own self esteem issues are usually what drive unnecessary criticism. It’s not about you, it’s about them. So don’t let their issues get in your way!
Limiting Belief Three: “I should be able to work harder”
This is a HUGE one for me. Comparing our work ethic or other components of our lives like appearance or social skills blocks our confidence and prevents us from experiencing inner peace.
Although you may look at others and think that they are better than you, you have to realize that everyone is different, and comparison can only make you feel bad and hold you back.
For me, I get super frustrated that I can’t spend as much time on my business as it needs to grow faster. This is because I have two children to look after, two dogs to walk a house to run and marketing work to complete for clients ON TOP of my yoga and meditation business. I often tell myself that if I worked just a few more hours after the kids go to bed I’d be much further along – and sometimes I do, but many nights I’m JUST. TOO. SHATTERED.
So I sit, frazzled in front of the TV for a few hours before dragging myself to bed. And then beat myself up about it the day after. Or at least, I used to.
Instead of comparing yourself to someone else, focus on how you can improve your own qualities and traits – for me it’s to be more organized and procrastinate less Moving your focus inwards rather than outwards creates better results faster, lowers stress levels and increases your confidence.
Comparison on the other hand can create negative impacts on friendships and even relationships and will always get in the way of inner joy and happiness.
Limiting Belief Four: “I could never do that”
Errrr, why the hell not? And no, “Because I just can’t.” is not an acceptable answer! Doubting yourself and your capabilities is one of the most powerful ways that your subconscious restricts you from achieving your desires and goals. When you see someone performing on stage or completing something you have always aspired to do, it can be easy to think that you could never be capable of doing the same.
But why not? What is standing in your way… could it be your own limiting beliefs perhaps?
When you think these things, you’re starting out from a negative place. Taking a step back and realizing that actually, you can accomplish anything that you put your mind to will allow you to be more motivated and at peace from within.
You might not be able to do it straightaway. It might take weeks, even months of study, practice and support, but with the right mindset you can get there! Once you think you can, you’re just a hop, skip and jump from doing it.
Limiting Belief Four: “Inner peace is impossible”
Do you know what holds most people back from starting yoga and meditation? The belief that it’s too much work. It takes too long to learn. It takes too long to get it right. I’ll never get to where that person is so I might as well not bother starting.
When we read books about meditation and other peace techniques, it can be easy to feel overwhelmed and not capable. You might not be able to sit still for very long. Your mind might be busier than the M25 at rush hour. Getting from where you are to where you’d like to be feels impossible, so you don’t even start.
But here’s the thing. NOONE starts out being good at something they’ve never tried before. Just think about a child learning to ride a bike. At first the idea seems impossibly scary! But with the right support, encouragement and a heap load of practice, one fine day they’re off pedaling down the road without a care in the world!
If you think finding inner peace is impossible, then it will be. Which is why we start slow.
Step One: Letting go of the assumption that it’s impossible.
Step Two: Making teeny weeny small changes.
Step Three: Building on those changes, slowly and at your own pace.
Step Four: As it gets easier, you’ll find yourself creating new habits that take you towards peace and away from fear, anger and frustration
Step Five: You’ll wake up one day and realise that you’ve made it… probably without even realising it. Because it’s not effort anymore. It just flows.
So why not give it a try today? Perhaps by owning up to and then starting to shake off just one of these limiting beliefs? Who knows, it might even be easier than you think.